You know…I stepped away from my blogging…well…because life just has a way of taking you away from things, however, like with everything else in life we travel in circles. I always come back around to
things I start and believe me I am trying to change that. It occurs to me that life is made extremely complex by 85% (if not more) of the actions and decisions that we make. I’m not sure how to explain that further, other than I am just at a place where it is time to start accepting accountability for my choices and dealing with the hand those choices dealt me…There are not many explanations in life relative to why things just “must” go wrong every now and then other than the Almighty testing my faith…let me just say that I have not been too great in that department either…more than likely because I am on a spiritual journey and learning and discovering more about myself and what I believe in, but that’s another topic altogether! It’s been a wild year so far, but I’ll tell you what I have taken away from it as we reach the halfway point on 2015…I have learned that one, I am the only one stopping me from being everything and anything that I want to be…no one else has the power to destroy my dreams. That saying that “you are the maker and the baker or the piece of your pie”…so true! Secondly, that gaining discipline when you are extremely undisciplined is one of the hardest things to do in LIFE…and that’s OK. I have been struggling to get my hands around certain aspects of my life so that I can continue to grow and be prosperous, like my health, finances, education, career, family, etc.; the basic areas of life where everyone struggles. I had been watching everyone else do it…even my own husband, and at some point you’ve got to throw your hands up and say, “You know what…enough is enough!” I have all of the knowledge and capability to be an independently wealthy entrepreneur doing all the things that I want to do in this life…but I just lack the discipline to accomplish that goal. I was sick of placing completely attainable goals on my bucket list because I was either too lazy or too afraid to take the steps necessary to go after my dreams! Yes, there have been several times in my life when I have been dealt crappy hands…like having kids wayyy to early, my son dying of SIDS at 5 months, my nephew being shot and killed at 16, out of work for almost a year at one point, struggling to make ends meet and take care of myself and my daughter, 2 miscarriages, and yet…..in all that darkness…the Almighty looked down on me, a little speck of nothing on this Earth and said, you know what…you deserve the blessings…so in the middle of that crazy, I was blessed with a beautiful daughter who is now 13, a husband and best friend, a great job, wonderful friends who support me, and the knowledge that I am at all times greater than my circumstances and that I have the power to control them…I have lost so much of myself over the years, but I continue to be filled with hope and with life. I am not completely sure what the Universe has in store for me, but I do know that until you actually deal with what is right in front of you, you can never move past it.
When I started blogging, it was my hope to give life and support to someone who was in need of it — to use my words to convey feeling and emotion and to create a world where I could share an unveiled soul and experience the deepest words of others…This world that I have created has become an outlet for my creativity and a check and balance of my world and the life that I am living. It helps to keep me sane within reason…and sometimes, even allows me to be a little crazy. I invite you to think on this — think about this life…your life. I have read blogs written by individuals who are plagued with terrible diseases and dying, but they still find the words to spread hope and to speak life into their circumstances. We are all dealt a hand from time to time that we are unsatisfied with…it may not turn out the way we want…but that is LIFE…you win some and you lose some…the important thing is that you control the circumstances…don’t let them control you…you make a decision…the decision…one of the few we make in our life that will change our course forever…you decide to persevere…you decide to progress…you decide to take the bad with the good…you decide confront it…and you decide to LIVE…
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